New Year, New Laws

It’s that most wonderful time of the year when I get myself into trouble with some readers simply by pointing out a handful of the staggering number of new laws that have been foisted on Americans in general and Californians in particular as the New Year begins.

How many laws, you ask? Buckle up because there are more than 40,000 new restrictions, regulations and statutes that became law at midnight on Wednesday, January 1, 2014. So much for the so-called gridlock in Washington, DC and other seats of government. (And we know which body part sits in a seat, am I right?)

On the national front, some of the new laws (including some that were passed years ago but did not become law until this year) include one that makes it illegal to produce 40-watt and 60-watt incandescent light bulbs for sale in the USA. This comes after the banning of less frequently used 75- and 100-watt bulbs beginning in 2012. Thank you, control-freak government zealots for keeping us in the dark when it comes to choice.

The mother of all new federal laws, however, that will affect every man, woman and child (not to mention doctors, nurses, hospitals, clinics and medical device manufacturers, to name just a few of those afflicted) is the legislation that dropped on January 1st like the trap door on a gallows; “Obamacare”, officially known as the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Sadly, with every passing day we’re seeing more incontrovertible evidence that this mind-numbing 10,000-plus-page swamp of legislation protects no one, is neither affordable, nor does it provide any improvements to care (quite the opposite) and everything promised to the American public in order to drum up slightest modicum of support was, indeed, just an act. “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. Period. If you like your health insurance plan, you can keep your health insurance plan. Period.” Not hardly.

On the state level, there are far too many troubling new laws to begin to cover in this space. Just here in California, for example, the chuckleheads in Sacramento have gone well above and beyond their usual social engineering and legal bullying to inflict more than 800 new laws on citizens of the Golden State. These include the wildly dangerous mandate that students as young as kindergarten must be allowed to use whichever bathroom is consistent with their self-proclaimed gender identity on any given day regardless of what’s listed on their school records or birth certificate. This self-selecting choice also applies to participation in school sports. Think of the implications of such moronic foolishness. Got a daughter in high school? Or a son who wants to visit the girls’ locker rooms unhampered? You can thank Jerry Brown and his bullying band of boneheads for one more parental nightmare to keep you up at night.

Another new law that defies any sense of logic is one that allows the licensing of “qualified” lawyers regardless of their immigration status. In other words, in California you can theoretically practice law even though you are here illegally. Hello ... is this thing on?

Finally, and in a delicious irony of timing, given the recent reports of local pets being killed and dragged from their backyards by mountain lions, the dangerous beasts have even more legal protection against elimination or even relocation thanks to a new law restriction such actions by California Fish & Wildlife wardens. Drag a beloved family pet out of its own backyard to certain death? No problem. Tranquilize and remove a killer predator from the community? Not so fast, bucko.

I can only explain these and other such legal lunacies with the possibility that California’s legislators must have spent too much time in Colorado, where as of January 1st it is okie dokie to buy and consume up to an ounce of marijuana at a time. Rocky Mountain high, indeed.

I’ll see you ‘round town.

There Ought To Be A Law (Against More Laws)

It’s time to ring in the New Year and wring the necks of our state politicians who continue with increasing arrogance and aggression to intrude into – and affect the lives of – all Californians, from kids to seniors, business owners to students, parents to pets. Among the whopping 760 new laws that went into effect at 12:01 a.m. last Sunday morning, are the following:

The new California Human Trafficking Law mandates the disclosure of efforts California companies take to eradicate slavery and human trafficking from their entire supply chains. Seriously? However good-intentioned a law might be, I can’t help but wonder if one of the reasons over 2500 businesses representing more than 109,000 jobs have left California (according to the OC Register) in the past four years is because our state legislators never met a regulation they didn’t like.

The California Gay Bullying Law (Seth’s Law) requires school districts to have a uniform process for dealing with gay bullying complaints and mandates that school personnel intervene if they witness gay bullying. Or what? Huh, tough guys? Is gay bullying any worse than straight bullying? Fat kid bullying? Nerd bullying? Short bullying? What about bullying by constituent-pandering politicians?

The LGBT Equality and Equal Access in Higher Education Law requires state colleges and universities to create and enforce campus policies that protect LGBTs from harassment and to appoint employee contact persons to address on-campus LGBT matters. Yep, that oughta lower the cost of a college education.

The California Gay History Law mandates that school textbooks and social studies include gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender accomplishments and bans teaching materials that reflect negatively on gays or specific religions (Christianity excluded, of course.)

Judicial Applicant and Appointment Demographics Inclusion Law mandates gender identity and sexual orientation of potential judges into the state’s Judicial Applicant Date Report (say what?) to ensure more diversity in our state courts. Yep, that’s definitely what’s wrong with the California court system.

The Transgender Vital Statistics Law makes it easier for transgender Californians to get a court petition to change their gender on official documents and the Domestic Partnership Equality Law “corrects” inequalities between domestic partnerships and heterosexual marriages. Well, of course it does.

Another new law requires businesses with dress codes to provide workers leeway to dress according to their own gender identity. It’s a wonder there are any businesses here at all.

Lest you think our public servants in Sacramento are obsessed with all things gay, lesbian and transgendered – they’ve also enacted new laws for 2012 that mandate the use of car seats for kids until they are 8 years old (up from 6) or are 4’ 9” and/or weigh 60 pounds. (Confused yet?) I’d bet there have already been some nasty fights this week between parents and 6- or 7-year-olds who have to be strapped into a car seat once again. And to think my generation somehow survived childhood riding in family cars with slippery vinyl bench seats, hard steel dashboards and no seatbelts.

Also courtesy of our state government, as of last Sunday minors in California are no longer able to buy Robitussin cough syrup or use a tanning bed, but – wait for it – girls and boys as young as 12 can now receive preventive treatment for sexually transmitted diseases without parental consent. Oh yeah, and anyone can now purchase syringes over the counter without a prescription. So, in other words, kids – sex and drugs are just dandy but don’t you DARE get a tan or a cough. What passes for wisdom today is both mind numbing and soul deadening.

There are, unfortunately, many hundreds more new laws for 2012 that further control daily life and commerce here in California. If you’re as frightened with the growth of government and its increasing power over every aspect of our lives, our livings and even our very thoughts – I hope to see you in a voting booth this November. And until then, I’ll see you ‘round town.

Note: This is a post of my column first published yesterday, 1.5.12, in the Crescenta Valley Weekly newspaper (cvweekly.com).

© 2012 WordChaser, Inc.

Enough Already of 2011, Bring on 2012

I don’t know about you, but now that there are less than a handful of days left in 2011, I’m more than ready to unceremoniously boot this tired and tattered old year to the curb and welcome in the new one with open arms and high hopes.

What last Sunday morning was a magical mishmash of tinsel and trappings, garland and gewgaws, bright greens, reds and golds – by Monday was starting to look more than a tad garish and gaudy. Youthful excitement and anticipation of the coming Christmas festivities had already begun to turn into the familiar adult dread of the coming credit card statements. The tips of the branches on our tree seem to droop a bit more with each passing hour (as does my enthusiasm for hefting all of the containers of decorations back into the attic once again). Our vast collection of treasured Christmas CDs has already been locked away in the family media vault until sometime late next November. To be totally honest, you couldn’t bribe me to play a single song from that play list until then.

I mean no disrespect to anyone for which this year has been all unicorn smiles and rainbow sprinkles – but speaking for myself (with the possible exception of an adventurous late summer attempt to summit Mt. Whitney), 2011 has mostly been one big pain in the proverbial patootie.

I’ve had more than enough of the terrible economy, near-historic unemployment levels, rising international turmoil and, please, from now on let’s stop giving those petulant “occupy”ing lowlifes any more attention.  

I’ve had enough inept, incompetent and inexcusable “leadership” from politicians who are paid too much, enjoy too many perks and aren’t affected nearly enough (if at all) by the terribly oppressive and harmful taxes, regulations and laws that they create and enact. I just read that at 12:01 a.m. on January 1, over 750 new laws will go into effect. That alone should frighten every thinking person straight into the voting booth next November. I for one can hardly wait.

I’ve had enough of the winds, thank you. It’s pure coincidence that our gardener (who really doesn’t actually “garden” in any traditional sense of the word – we affectionately label his services “mow, blow & go”) shows up every Wednesday afternoon, and the past three windstorms have all started on Wednesday night or Thursday morning. But it would really be nice to have a yard that isn’t buried under mountains of pine needles, dead leaves, lethal pinecones, fallen branches and Wicked Witches of the West for more than a few hours after he mows, blows and goes. Oh, and power that stays on is a nice thing, too.

I’ve had enough of mail order catalogs that began their annual holiday/Christmas deluge about two weeks before Halloween. I foolishly hoped for a slight pause between the Christmas surge and the post-Christmas/New Years Sale avalanche. No such luck. Last Friday our mailbox was filled with “Last Minute Gift Ideas!” By Saturday catalogs announcing “Unbelievable End-Of-Year Savings!” began arriving.

Before we yank the plug on 2011, I want to mention the brilliant commentator, Peggy Noonan, who wrote in her Wall Street Journal column last weekend that in the moments just before he disconnected from that great Ethernet in the sky, Apple founder and techno-visionary, Steve Jobs looked for a long time at his sister, then his children, and then his wife. Finally, his gaze lifted above and beyond their shoulders, his eyes widened and he said,  “Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Oh, wow!” Ms. Noonan pegged Jobs’ last words as the best thing said in 2011.

I agree. (iAgree?) Finally, I’d like to express my thanks and gratitude to the faithful readers of this blog (column) and of the CV Weekly newspaper this year. My end-of-year wish for everyone is that 2012 bring fewer events that make us say, “Oh, no …” and many more that make us say, “Oh, wow!” 

I’ll see you ‘round town.

Note: This is a post of my column first published yesterday, 12.29.11, in the Crescenta Valley Weekly newspaper (cvweekly.com).

© 2011 WordChaser, Inc.