Showing posts with label windstorm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label windstorm. Show all posts

Friday, December 9, 2011

Unplugged & Unhinged

That’s it. I’ve officially changed the lyrics of the classic Christmas song, “Let It Snow” to “Let It Blow!” I’m mean, chill out, Mutha Nature. That Santa Ana event our county weathered last week was nothing short of epic. In my many years here in Southern California, we’ve  made the national news several times due to spectacular wildfires that make for riveting video footage. But never (at least to my knowledge) have we received network coverage for our windstorms. Until last week.

Listening to the winds as they ripped through the trees around our home last Wednesday night, I kept looking at the clock on my nightstand so I’d know when we lost power. In the backyard, I could hear pine cones dropping like heavy mortar-fire onto our lawn from a neighbor’s pine tree that towers over our back fence. With nervous laughter, our family has always called these football-sized pinecones “widowmakers” because of their wicked, talon-sharp scales and impressive weight. The thuds as the cones hit the turf made me thankful our dog was sleeping fitfully alongside our bed and not outside in the line of fire. Thankfully, no animals or small children were lost in the pinecone barrage.

We eventually lost our power sometime early Thursday morning and didn’t get it back until Saturday. Which meant, of course, that we also lost a significant amount of food from our kitchen fridge and the separate freezer in which we store all those great Costco buys out in the garage. Sigh. As frustrating as it was having to throw food away, I have to admit to feeling a sense of adventure as I dusted off our ancient Coleman gas lantern (and had to remember how to replace the fragile cloth mantles) and hung it from the ceiling fan in our den to read by. Without Facebook, email or TV (among other e-distractions), I read more in the few days we were powerless than I’ve been able to read in months. In fact, I almost finished author Stephen King’s latest cinder block-sized novel (all 800-plus pages of the beast) released only a few weeks ago. I was sure the book would last me well into the New Year.

Yes, it was cold in our house, but we bundled up and made the best of it. And to be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to resetting all of the digital clocks in our house when the power returned. For me, however, the worst part of the power outage was witnessing how dangerously ignorant (or willfully reckless) many of our fellow Crescenta Valley drivers were in blasting through busy intersections where the signals weren’t in operation (which means almost every intersection along Foothill). Did the DMV change the law about treating an intersection as a four-way stop when traffic lights aren’t working? I lost track of how many times I waited at an intersection – watching the dance of the drivers try to figure out whose turn it was to creep out into the no-man’s land – only to have some clueless chucklehead blast through it without so much as tapping their brakes. How there weren’t more head-ons or destruction derby-like collisions is a mystery. Note to the DMV: make it more difficult to pass the driver’s test from now on, please.

Thankfully, the winds seemed to shut off just in time for the annual Montrose Christmas parade to go off without a hitch – or at least without spectators and participants alike having to be tied down like so many warmly dressed balloons. I hope everyone who made it out to the parade route had as much fun as all of us on the CV Weekly float did waving to you all. Oh, and thanks for all the much appreciated shout outs of support as we passed by. We love you too.

With my LED flashlight and a boatload of AA-cells close at hand these days, I’ll see you ‘round town.


Note: This is a post of my edited column first published Thursday, 12.8.11, in the Crescenta Valley Weekly newspaper (cvweekly.com).

© 2011 WordChaser, Inc.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Winter Wonders


Thanksgiving is over and I can “legally” play and sing Christmas music. However, I have to fess up and admit to singing one of my favorites, “I Wonder As I Wander”, no matter what season the calendar says it is. In addition to loving the beautiful melody of this classic carol, I probably like this particular song because I do, in fact, wonder oddly disconnected thoughts every waking hour of every day. Like these for example:

I wonder … if anyone else sees the irony in our usual post-Thanksgiving SoCal heat wave occurring last weekend, the very weekend so many of us put up outdoor Christmas lights and decorate for what’s supposed to be a wonderfully wintery season? It was actually painful for me to drive along Foothill this past Saturday and see live Christmas trees for sale, withering in our mid-80-degree temps. Now, I realize many people love our climate more than ever this time of year because of this very kind of summer-like warmth. All I can say is, bless your heat-loving hearts. Maybe I can interest you in buying our house when we load up the moving van and head for the Yukon. Bleh.

I wonder … if we’ll ever see an actual bike parked at one of those new racks all along Foothill Blvd. So far, a not one. 

I wonder … if anyone else is as creeped out as I am by that LensCrafters commercial with the guy on the bus who is reading over the shoulder of the lady several rows ahead of him and laughing out loud like a recently escaped patient from the Happy Home? Stop the bus, please. I really want to get off. 

I wonder … (speaking of commercials) if other people respond as negatively as I do to that whacked out lady in red who stars in the onslaught of Target commercials airing lately. How do those spots make me feel? Well, imagine taking a big bite out of an old, moldy lemon hours after the Novocain from your oral surgery wears off – then finding half a worm inside the lemon. It’s kinda like that – only worse.

I wonder … how lazy does someone have to be to actually think electric salt and pepper grinders are a good idea? I saw them for sale last week at an upscale cooking store in Pasadena. Really? Have we become that lethargic? What’s next, a remote control TP dispenser?

I wonder … if I’ll ever be in decent enough shape to wear a cycling jersey and pants without looking and feeling like a large, brightly colored kielbasa link on wheels? Why do the makers of bike clothing assume every cyclist is a recovering anorexic or native of Munchkin-land?

I wonder … if anyone else out there is repulsed by the shopping mania that overwhelmed the Thanksgiving season this year? To watch TV news or read the newspaper last weekend, you’d think that scoring a smokin’ hot deal on a humongous, flat-screen TV or video game console was the only thing many Americans live for. Sadly, maybe it is.

I wonder … who knows the identity of the “electric elf” who every year magically makes Christmas lights appear along the footbridge that connects the west end of Two-Strike Park with Henrietta Ave. I know, but there’s no way I’m spilling Santa’s little secret!

I wonder … if anyone else thinks the title of the new blockbuster in the werewolves vs. vampire movie franchise should have been “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Wind”? (Sorry, that was just too easy to pass up.) 

I wonder … speaking of wind – if Southern California has ever had a windstorm like the one we’ve been experiencing since this past Wednesday? Trees down everywhere. Power out for days at a time (which is why this post is late). Roofs blown off. Houses and cars crushed. Traffic accidents up the wazoo because drivers don’t know enough to stop before blowing (sorry) through intersections where the signals are dark. Stores closed during the busiest shopping season of the year because cash registers won’t work. Fun times.

I wonder … if you’ll see me waving as I ride along with the rest of the CV Weekly crew in the annual Montrose Christmas Parade this weekend? Please come out and enjoy this wonderfully small town tradition and give us a wave and a yell.

And if I don’t see you along Honolulu Avenue Saturday night (or we all get blown away in the process!), I’ll see you ‘round town.  

Note: This is a post of my edited column first published Thursday, 12.1.11, in the Crescenta Valley Weekly newspaper (cvweekly.com).

© 2011 WordChaser, Inc.